


I Love You More As Time Goes On

by chaoticxlovers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Babies, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Drunk John Winchester, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non-Binary Jack Kline, POV Dean Winchester, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticxlovers/pseuds/chaoticxlovers
Summary: Cas comes back, and things only get better from there.Aka: a montage of the life Dean should've lived, but this time the writer isn't a dick.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak
Comments: 5
Kudos: 176





	I Love You More As Time Goes On

**Author's Note:**

> There's time jumps throughout the story because I wanted to do my own version of a life montage (similar to how they showed Sam's in the finale) but there's no death in this one. Just lots of cute stuff because God knows we need it.

The calm usually comes before the storm, but in Dean’s case, it’s afterward. The streets are filled with people, and in his heart, he can feel those who he loves, finally back in place. He’s happy, and content. There’s just one thing he needs to ask Jack before he leaves. A question concerning a certain angel. “What about Cas?” He blurts out before the new God has a chance to disappear. Jack gives him a knowing smile, and Dean can feel the hope in his chest start to rise once more.

“He’s back home. You’ll see him again.” Jack says, and Dean lets out a breath of relief. Cas is back. Cas is okay. It wasn’t for nothing-- they really got _everyone_ back. He thanks Jack before they head off, turning to Sam. They’re sharing matching smiles, and Dean thinks he knows why. They’ve got Eileen, Cas, Jody, the girls-- everyone they love is here again.

“Let's go home.” Sam says. And they do. They drive in silence, and Dean doesn’t try to break it. He’s comfortable and wants to savor in the feeling of getting such a big win. When they get back, though, he’s anything but calm. He pounds up the stairs, and Sam doesn’t bother asking why. Dean has a feeling that he knows, and for some reason that doesn’t seem to bother him anymore.

He makes it halfway to the bunker running full speed until he crashes into something-- or more like some _one._ He and Cas tumble to the floor, a tangle of limbs and echoing groans coming from both men. Dean doesn’t try to move, though. Cas is below him, and they both sort of just… Stare at each other for a while. “Dean…” Cas finally speaks, voice the familiar low rumble that Dean has grown to love over the years. He can feel his eyes begin to water, relief sinking into his tired bones

Finally, Dean rolls off of the other man, swiping a hand over his wet cheeks before pulling Cas into a hug once they’re on their feet. “I missed you, man.” He says, burying his face into the crook of Cas’ neck. He smells like blood and mothballs. Fleetingly, Dean wonders how long Cas has been in the empty. He isn’t sure how time works there-- how long Cas had to sit there, wallowing through his worst memories over and over again. It hurts him, knowing that it was his fault. He was the reason Cas had to endure that pain.

“Dean, I’m okay.” Cas murmurs, voice ever so soft. It’s just then Dean realizes just how tightly he’s hugging the other man, and quickly steps back. He apologizes profusely, and Cas just _looks_ at him. And it’s different now, because Dean knows exactly what that look means. His eyes are soft, and his mouth is upturned in a small smile. It’s how you look at someone you love. Cas loves Dean. He can feel the words on the tip of his tongue, hovering there, ready to come out. But they won’t. Not now. It’s not the right time.

“Let's get you all cleaned up, alright?” Dean says. And that’s all that happens, and it’s okay-- for now.

* * *

Dean finds out that Cas is human now-- it was supposedly the only way he could get out of the Empty. He had to become something other than supernatural to escape. Unfortunately, losing his grace meant staying with the Winchesters far more than Dean was comfortable with. Sure-- he was relieved to have the man back and wanted to spend every second at his side to make sure he was okay-- but that’s exactly what he _didn’t_ like, too. Dean tries his best to stay away from Cas inside the bunker for fear of having to confront his feelings, because change is still too terrifying for him. He knows he’s not being controlled anymore, and that also comes with the knowledge that it wasn’t Chuck forcing him to feel that way all these years. It was his own heart. Him. And Cas. And that is… A whole new piece of information he doesn’t want to confront.

So, instead, Dean avoids it. Like usual.

It’s cold out, and he usually spends the days in his room covered under piles of blankets cuddled up with Miracle. It’s nice, and it’s a safe haven for him-- because it seems whenever he leaves the room he bumps into Cas. In the kitchen, in the living room, the man pops up everywhere. It’s awkward, since they still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room even after days of Cas being there. Eventually, though, they’re forced to.

Sam is out on a hunt with Eileen, insisting that someone stays behind to watch the dog and the bunker. So, he does. And so does Cas.

You can cut the tension with a butter knife whenever they’re alone in a room together, or even just passing by. There’s no way to avoid it, though, when they’re suddenly locked in together. Snow is piled behind the entrance of the bunker door, and there’s no way for either man to push it open-- especially with Cas completely human again. No useful angel mojo anymore.

And, of course, that’s also when the heating goes out. So not only are they stuck inside together, but they’re also slowly turning into popsicles. “Dean, we have to do something about the c-cold.” Cas says to him later that evening, hovering in the entrance of his room. The man is awkward, avoiding eye contact as usual. Dean is the same way, though, so he can’t blame him. With a sigh, he crawls out from under his cocoon of blanket, Miracle whining as he does so. He immediately shivers from the loss of warmth, and can suddenly understand why Cas is shaking there in nothing but a thin button up with slacks. It’s not very ‘for the weather.’

“Shit, I’m sorry, man.” He grumbles, guilt piling down on him. “I should’ve took you out shopping for something for the winter… I don’t even think you have enough blankets to keep you warm, do you?” Cas shakes his head, and that’s when Dean realizes what he has to do. It takes more courage than he’s had this past week, but deep down inside he’s a good person, and fear can’t come in the way of that. So he gives Cas some appropriate clothes to change into-- hoodie and sweatpants-- and then comes the hard part. He invites him into bed. Literally.

“I can’t fix the heat yet until Sam gets back-- which, I already texted him and he should be back by morning-- but until then you can, um, stay in here if you want.” He says (more like mumbles) the words. “There’s enough blankets for both of us and I figured body heat will keep us warm, you know? But like, not from each other obviously. I meant Miracle. Miracle’s…. Body heat.” Yeah, he’s a total mess. There’s no way he’s getting through this without making a giant fool of himself.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Cas asks it so gently, and so fearfully, that Dean can feel his heart begin to soften. “Of course not.” He replies.

And that’s how they end up an hour later, laying next to each other in bed with Miracle in between and the TV blasting cartoons in the background. Dean would usually pay attention to the throwbacks, but when a certain man is in his _bed,_ it makes it hard to do so. So instead he watches Cas. He watches the way his eyes shine with humor at the shitty children jokes being made by Bugs Bunny, he watches the curl of his lips-- a real smile that reaches his eyes. He just…. Watches. And after a while, his own happiness begins to wilt.

This is the man who sacrificed everything for him. Who had the balls to blurt out a love confession-- the one thing that brought him true happiness-- right before he died. This man did all of that… For Dean. And what did he get in return? Dean completely avoiding him. Cas had to die without hearing one I love you, and Dean can’t even stand to be around the man because he’s afraid. He’s a coward. But Cas… Cas deserved so much better. Why Dean?

“Because you’re you,” Cas says, and it’s only then that he realizes he’s been speaking out loud. “I meant everything I said before I died, you know. You are the most selfless and caring man I know, and you always will be. You _are_ worth it, Dean. Whether you think so or not. You always will be and… You don’t owe me anything for what I did. I’m perfectly happy just being here-- unless you aren’t happy with that. In which case I can leave.”

Fuck. _Fuck._ Why did Cas have to be so damn nice? Even after dying for Dean, he was still willing to put himself last. Dean couldn’t stand it. It ate away at him more than the fear-- the thought that Cas didn’t think he was worth enough. He could say all those nice things about Dean, but that was it. He didn’t care enough about himself to see that he DID deserve better, after everything he did. He deserved so much more.

“I love you, too.” Dean blurts out, then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth. He had meant to say it, but to actually hear the words out loud was completely different. He never thought he’d be able to, but there they were now, lingering in the air. Cas was just staring at him like he’d grown two heads, and Dean had the feeling he looked the same. They sat like that for what seemed like forever before Miracle’s whining snapped him out of his daze. He glanced at the dog who, seeming to sense the tension in the air, was looking back and forth between the two men as if to say “what are you idiots doing just say something.” And, well, Dean had to agree with the animal. This was rather absurd.

So he went for it. He leaned across the dog, face mere inches from the other man’s, but then stopped. And stared. He looked into Cas’ wide blue eyes, savoring the utter astonishment and hope there, before finally sealing their lips together in a gentle kiss. It was sweet and lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to have Dean feeling like he was floating. His heart was bursting within his chest, as if the touch of the other man’s lips was the one thing to set it off. It felt amazing, and he wondered in the back of his mind why he waited so damn long for this.

“Dean… You didn’t have to do that.” Cas murmured, and the joy bubbling inside him froze at the words. “You don’t owe me anything, just because I saved you. It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way.” And that-- well, that hurt Dean the most. That Cas still didn’t think he was loved, or ever could be loved. It hurt that he had to die with that in the back of his mind, thinking to himself that no one would or ever had loved him. Dean wanted to change that-- _needed_ to change that.

“No-- no, Cas, that’s not what I’m doing.” Dean said firmly. “Look, you got to do your sappy love confession, so here’s mine. I love you, okay? I don’t even know when I began to, or if it can ever stop. I just know I do. I also know you didn’t even think that was a possibility-- that you just jumped right past death’s door without even knowing the truth. Look, I hate myself for not telling you sooner. I hate myself for putting you through that-- but I won’t let that happen again. You hear me? _I love you, Cas.”_

He didn’t get the chance to say anymore than that-- Cas was already crashing back at him with a firm press of his lips. It was slightly painful, but eased into soft. Dean could taste tears mixing into the kiss, and he wasn’t sure if they were from him or Cas. Maybe both. It was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for both of them, and he made sure to savor every minute of it until Miracle got frustrated and began whining for more attention to be directed at him.

Dean broke the kiss off with a chuckle and a huff, giving the dog a scratch behind the ears. He looked back at Cas, staring into the man’s shining blue eyes, and he was finally able to tell himself: I did it. This is what my freedom looks like, and I’ve finally got it.

And that’s how they spent the rest of that night, cozied up under the covers with Cas pressed against his side and Miracle laying over their legs. Sam didn’t question it the next morning when he came barging into the room, the only thing he had to say was “ _finally.”_

* * *

Months had now gone by at the bunker, and Dean knew things were going to change soon. Sam and Eileen were going to move out soon and get a place of their own, and Dean was happy for them, even though there was always going to be a part inside him that insisted he keep his brother at his side. It was drilled into him ever since he was little that he was Sammy’s protector, but now was the time he needed to let him go. Had to accept that there was no big threat out there-- just the little monsters in between. But even that didn’t matter anymore. Sam hadn’t been on a hunt in weeks, and when Dean thought about it, neither had he. They didn’t have to do that anymore-- it wasn’t what their freedom looked like.

The whole story that was written for them had been about hunting, dying, and fighting constantly for their lives and the people around them. But they were in control now. They deserved a better life than that-- and sure, the occasional hunt with Jody and the girls wouldn’t hurt, but for now, this was his life. This was Sammy’s life. And they deserved it.

So he helped them pack the boxes, helped them move into their new house. It wasn’t that far off from where the bunker was (Sam had promised to not move too far away) and Dean was comfortable with the space between them. It was time they split up for good, and Dean knew that Eileen would treat his brother right. But it was still a sad day for everyone.

Dean and Cas stayed for dinner, eating pizza out of a cardboard box on the floor since there was still no furniture set up yet. “You know, this is nice.” He said. “I mean, it sucks we’re not gonna see you as much, but this… This is what we deserve. After everything. This is what I’ve always wanted for you. To grow up, to live a peaceful life, and settle down with someone nice. I’m… I’m proud of us.” He murmured to Sam as Cas and Eileen chattered nearby.

He could see Sam begin to tear up, and knew he wasn’t going to last the night without the both of them crying. “Yeah, me too. I mean, we’re not just free of Chuck-- we’re free of dad, too. Everything he put onto us, all that responsibility I know you have… We can move on now. It’s okay for us to do that.” Dean could already feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, and pulled Sam into a tight hug.

After a while, Sam muttered, “Dude, you’re getting grease on my shirt, come on.” There was no annoyance behind his voice, though. It sounded broken and he could hear the man sniffle as he pulled away. “Are you guys crying already?” He heard Eileen say, and just like that, crying was turned into laughter. That’s how it went the rest of the night, and when Dean finally had to say goodbye, he felt lighter than he thought he would.

“Goodbye, Sammy.” He says, and there’s nothing but joy that he feels in the moment. As he walks away, then looks back, he knows his little brother is going to do just fine.

When Cas and him get home, this time they are met with just the wagging tail of Miracle, and soft barks of happiness. No Sammy, no Eileen. This was their place now. He turned to Cas, giving him a small smile before saying, “Does this mean I can make breakfast naked now?” And Cas rolls his eyes before pulling him into a kiss. This is their home, this is their life.

* * *

Things are going steady. Dean had managed to get a job as a firefighter in the time that had passed. The training wasn’t that terrible, considering he was used to the stress and urgency of saving people. Cas didn’t like the idea at first, told him that he thought the days of risking injuries and losing others was something they had left in the past. But it was something Dean realized he needed-- and this time, it was his choice.

“Hunting is something that was forced on me, you know?” He explains one night over dinner. Cas had made them spaghetti with syrup and candy-- something that was inspired by the movie Elf (Dean was regretting letting the man watch it now). “Dad told me what to do and I did it. Always the good little soldier… But the way I’m saving people this time isn’t from monsters. There’s a system, there’s a structure that I’ve never had before. I mean, sure it’s still risky but at least I can see what I’m getting myself into and I can say ‘okay, this is what I want to do.’ I’ve never had the choice before, Cas. I need this.”

Cas is giving him one of his soft smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners just slightly as they twinkle with something Dean had come to learn was love. “I understand completely what you mean, and I’m happy for you. It’s the same reason why…” Cas takes a deep breath, then, “I want to become a doctor. Because I want to help people still-- the same way you do.” Dean smiles at that. He had always known Cas had wanted to do something similar, and he was proud of the man for wanting to take the steps to get there.

“Well you know I have a thing for doctors.” Dean murmured, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way that made Cas roll his eyes before bursting into a laugh. It was the most domestic, beautiful thing he had experienced in a long time. He feeds Miracle scraps of the disgusting spaghetti mess under the table until Cas finds out and starts berating him for “being a Grinch.” And Dean is okay with it. He’s okay with it all.

And when later that month Cas starts studying, and he heads off to work every morning, he’s even more okay with things. He has a stable life-- or somewhat stable, at least. Somedays he’ll come home with tears on his face, explaining how he had lost another person on the job, and Cas would push away his school books and pat the bed. He’d hold him until he felt semi-fine, and then some more. And Dean would do the same for Cas, whenever the man stressed too much about his work, or when he woke up at night, panting in the dark for air and begging for Dean to turn the light on to make sure he was here-- that he was okay, and not in The Empty.

Dean would hold him just the same, would smooth his sweaty hair back from his face and tell him they were here, it was over. They’re free now, and they always would be. So no, their hearts weren’t completely mended even after almost a year later. Dean didn’t think they ever fully would be, but that was okay, because he had Cas, and Cas had him. And as long as they had each other, things were going to be okay. That’s something he always knew.

* * *

Sam calls Dean one day, voice a mixture of excitement and nervousness. “Am I on speaker? Put me on speaker-- actually, no, make it facetime.” It’s 11pm on a Monday night, and Dean had just been planning on heading to bed, but he does as he’s told with a grumble, wondering what Sammy could possibly want to tell him this late when he knows he has to get up early.

Cas gives him a weary look, but scoots closer once Facetime is turned on. Sam and Eileen’s happy faces light up the screen, and Dean turns the brightness down as he squints at the screen. Sam signs something to Eileen, and she signs back before they both turn back to the camera. Dean doesn’t have the time or energy to interrupt what they just communicated-- especially from the odd angle-- but then it dawns on him. “You guys are having a kid?!” He exclaims, and the tired heaviness weighing in his bones is somehow lifted away with the joy from the news.

Sam and Eileen let out matching, frustrated groans. “We were supposed to be the ones to tell you that.” Eileen signs as she speaks, and Dean lets out a chuckle. There’s a happiness buzzing inside him, something that he never thought he’d feel one day, but is unbelievably grateful he has the chance to. Because Dean Winchester is going to be an uncle-- and that is something he’d never even known he’d be able to say one day, let alone think.

“I’m gonna be an uncle-- and you’re going to be a dad. Holy shit.” He says, then quieter, “Holy shit.” That’s when he begins to cry, wet hot tears of joy spilling from his eyes, because this is _perfect._ This is exactly what he’d always wanted for his brother-- for both of them. And to have it actually come true… It feels unreal. Cas wipes away his tears with a smile, speaking up for him. “So any thoughts on a name yet?”

Sam turns to Eileen, then back to the camera. “We were thinking Bobby if it’s a boy, and Jo if it’s a girl. You know, in honor of them.” This news only causes Dean to cry harder, and Cas had to pat him on the back to calm him down a bit (this continues for five minutes, maybe more). But Dean doesn’t care. He’s happy. This is their life-- the life that they deserve, that they built. And Dean is really fucking proud of his baby brother.

“That’s… That’s really beautiful, Sammy. I can’t wait to meet them.” He says, and he means it. “Shit, you gotta tell Jack and Jody-- and the girls. They’re gonna be so excited… But you gotta be careful, too. I mean, if you’re still involved with hunters there’s the possibility your little junior could get hurt or--” He feels Cas’ hand on his knee, and turns to look at him. Cas leans forward then, giving him a small kiss on the nose. Dean can feel the anxiety in his chest loosen from just the small brush of lips against his skin, bad energy melting away as his heart pounds furiously in his chest, then less so.

He takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Thanks, angel.” He whispers, and when his eyes open once more, they’re staring right at Cas’ beautiful blue eyes, so vibrant and-- and _heavenly._

“That’s a cute nickname.” Eileen says, snapping him out of his gaze. “I can read lips, remember?” She raises an amused eyebrow as she signs, and Dean can feel warmth crawl up his neck as he lets out an embarrassed cough. “Maybe you guys will be next.” Dean furrows his eyebrows in confusion before what she means finally dawns on him and he’s even more frustratingly embarrassed.

“Shut it.” He mutters, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away from the camera. He and Cas hadn’t even brought up the idea of kids yet-- not to mention the fact that Dean was terrified of passing down whatever the fuck was wrong with him to whatever unfortunate child popped out. Of course, there was always the option of having Cas as the biological dad, but then again, would that even be possible? Sure, Cas was human, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pass down a Nephilim-- which was another terrifying thought he hadn’t even considered before, God.

He looks to Cas, then, and finds that the man is already looking at him-- albeit in concern. “Are you okay, Dean?” He asks quietly, and Dean gives a small shrug of his shoulders. This is a conversation for another place and time, one that requires a lot more balls and a lot less anxiety. It was gonna be a while for him to even consider the possibility of them having kids, and for now they were okay where they were.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He says with a smile. And this time he means it.

* * *

“Dean, please go the speed limit.” Cas says in a voice of warning. If he was still an angel, Dean is sure he’d be forced to move from his heavenly mojo powers, but as it was right now, Cas could do nothing but place a very tight and rather painful grip on his shoulder. “Watch out for the truck-- _Dean!”_ He swerves just in time, anxiety thrumming through his body as anticipation builds even more.

“Just because she’s in labor doesn’t mean she’s going to have the baby _right away.”_ He says. “It could take hours or days, we don’t need to rush.” Logically, Dean knows this. But he can’t miss this, no matter what. He needed to be there for his baby brother-- needed to be there for his _nephew._ This was one of those moments in life where any small mistake could send the situation into hellfire. What if there were complications? What if Eileen needed a c-section or some other scary bullcrap?

Eventually, they managed to make it without dying. Dean takes the steps two at a time with Cas shouting to catch up for him. But there’s no time for that so instead he just throws an apologetic smile over his shoulder as he rushes past the front desk and makes a beeline for the elevators. A frustrated nurse yells at him to sign in but he’s already pressing the seventh-floor button and going up.

Once he’s outside of the room, that’s when he finally slows down. His heart is in his throat, and there’s sweat dripping from his hair and he feels like if he opens that door the world is going to explode because this is all too unreal. Suddenly, he’s right back where he started. 26, outside of his brother’s door as his knees wobble from anxiety and a fist is raised to knock. And he doesn’t know what’s going to be on the other side of the door-- doesn’t know if it’s going to be Eileen on the ceiling with a fire blazing all around. He wonders if he’ll have to pull his baby brother out for the third time. Wonders if they’ll fall right back into revenge and hunting-- and that _terrifies_ him.

“Are you ready?” His head snaps up at Cas’ voice, and he takes in a deep breath, then nods. Cas smiles and takes his hand, and right when they’re about to knock, the door is being opened. An older woman draped in blue scrubs is holding a baby, and Dean feels his heart stutter as he looks down at the little bundle of cloth and, hiding beneath it, a small red face.

“They’re taking him to get his blood drawn.” Sam murmurs from the nurse’s side, and it feels as if Dean’s heart literally stops in his chest. Anxiety creeps up his throat, and it’s like he can’t breathe. Cas squeezes his hand, grounding him partially to reality. He’s not all there.

The nurse brushes past him, taking his baby nephew god knows where. That’s when Sam seems to notice his nervous expression. “Hey, man, don’t freak. It’s nothing dangerous, they just think he has an extra chromosome. They need to do a blood test to determine it, but that’s what they’re leaning towards.” Dean has no idea what any of that means, and Sam seems to notice. “It means they think he has down syndrome-- did you ever pay attention in school?”

Just like that, the anxiety curling in Dean’s chest begins to unfurl, and he feels like he can breathe again. “Thank God, you scared the shit out of me.” He muttered. “And no, you know I didn’t pay attention. I was too busy scoring chicks while you were being a nerd.” He ruffles Sam’s hair with the hand that’s not still clasped with Cas’, and savors the sweet moment, letting it come and go before he turns his attention to the rest of the people in the room. Eileen is talking to Jody and Donna from her hospital bed as Alex, Kaia, Claire, and Jack converse on the other side of the room. His heart bursts with joy at the sight of them, and of his found family. They’re all together again, and this time it’s for something good. There’s no end of the world situation, no death, just the joy of birth and celebration.

He and Cas make their way over to Eileen, Sam trailing behind them. They wait for her to finish her conversation with the other women before they talk to her. “How are you feeling?” Cas asks while signing, and Eileen raises an eyebrow as if to say ‘is that a serious question?’ Dean chuckles, giving the woman a gentle pat on the shoulder. “I’m doing better now that I’ve finished pushing out 8 pounds of baby.” He laughs harder at that, and gives her a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for the actual birth.” He signs, and Eileen shakes her head at that.

“There was lots of screaming and blood involved, I think you would’ve enjoyed it as much as I did.”

“Yeah, well, it sounds like a lot of fun.” He says sarcastically.

They talk for a while, everyone catching up and enjoying the company. Jack tells him about heaven, and about what they’re doing to change it for the better. “No more walls,” they say. “Everyone you love, all together. Not just memories, but actual people.” Dean likes the sound of it. He thinks about what his heaven will look like-- Cas, Sammy, Bobby… Everyone he loves, all together. There’s a contentment inside him from the thought.

He notices, after their conversation, that Jack and Claire seem to get along. He hears bits and pieces of their conversation-- Claire asks about Jimmy, and what his heaven looks like. It sounds beautiful. Dean hopes the two kids get along together. He has a feeling they have a lot in common.

It takes an hour before the baby-- Bobby, Sam tells him-- is back. Everyone but Sam and Eileen have to leave the room as the doctor talks to them, but they’re done soon. As they come back inside, Sam gives them a nod. “The blood test came back positive.” He says, and Dean gives a firm nod. There’s worry etched on his little brother’s face, and Dean already knows what he’s thinking-- ‘am I going to be a good dad?’

He gives Sam a side hug as he look down at his nephew. Everyone is silent as they watch Bobby coo and smile, chubby hands curled around two of Eileen’s fingers. “You’re going to be a great dad, Sammy.” He says, looking into Sam’s shining eyes. “This is your family now, and it’s gonna be a hell of a lot better than what we had. I promise.”

They hug properly after that, and Dean is happy. Everyone is in one piece, including his baby nephew, and he can properly say now that that’s one of their biggest wins.

* * *

Christmas was never big for the Winchesters. Dad was usually gone, and it was just him and Sammy to celebrate. But there wasn’t a lot they could do _to_ celebrate. They’d have a shitty little Christmas tree with shitty ornaments hung from the weeping branches, and the only presents they had were from each other. Those were always the most meaningful, though. The memories are sad, but nostalgic. Things are different now, though.

The bunker is full of people-- Garth, Jody and the girls, Donna, Eileen and Sam, Jack. Everyone he knows and loves. He wasn’t the one who wanted to do the Christmas party-- that was all Cas’ idea-- but he’s glad he went along with it.

They baby-proofed everything a while ago-- when Sam and Eileen made their first visit with Bobby-- but Dean does a second (okay, triple) check just in case, making sure all the outlets are covered and all dangerous objects and weapons are either out of reach or locked up somewhere that no baby-- let alone man-- can get into.

Dean is holding him now, bouncing his now two-year-old nephew on his knee. Cas makes his way over with two red solo cups, handing one to Dean. “There’s beer in this, right?” He asks, then gives it a sniff, blanching at the smell. “Fruit punch? Babe, no offense, but I’m gonna need something a lot stronger than this.” Cas gives him a dirty look (and not the good kind).

“You’re holding a baby, I’m not going to give you alcohol.” He scolds Dean, plopping down by his side. He opens his arms in a silent request to hold Bobby, and Dean hands the baby carefully over. “Plus, what’s so terrible about a Christmas party that you feel the need to consume alcohol?”

Dean doesn’t respond right away. He’s too distracted. Seeing Cas hold a baby… It brings up a lot of thoughts. Particularly about how fucking adorable they look. Cas is so _gentle,_ despite having little to no experience with children. His hand is at the nape of Bobby’s neck, holding him carefully against his shoulder and swaying gently as the baby’s eyes start to droop shut.

He hears Cas hum a tune under his breath-- Dean recognizes it as ‘You Are my Sunshine’ and he feels as if his heart is going to explode from all the emotion flooding through him. Cas is so beautiful like this, and Dean can imagine their future right here before his eyes. He imagines their own baby, imagines how great Cas would be as a father and how damn great their kid would turn out because they would be parents who actually _love_ their child.

“Are you just going to stare, or are you gonna answer me?” Cas asks, but there’s no annoyance in his voice, just a gentle push for an answer. Dean gives him a smile, then nods. He pulls out his phone to snap a quick photo of the two, then a selfie with all three, before he actually gets around to answering. _Now_ Cas is starting to get annoyed.

“Sorry, uh…” He hesitates before continuing. “I just don’t have a lot of joyful Christmas memories, ya know? Its hard to not focus on them during this time of year… I mean, dad was either away hunting or he was home drinking. It wasn’t pretty either way. We either got cuts and bruises for presents, or nothing at all.” He gives a shrug and takes a long swig out of his cup, avoiding Cas’ eyes.

He can feel the man’s stare boring into the side of his head, and it makes his skin crawl because this is the most he’s exposed to Cas about his specific past with John Winchester. “Dean,” Cas says, and Dean takes in a deep breath before looking back. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I am, but… I don’t want you to deal with your feelings in unhealthy ways. I want you to make better memories, with this family. I don’t want you to focus on the old.”

Dean feels choked up as Cas continues. “And I know that’s hard for you to do. It’s okay if you have flashbacks, or if you’re feeling overwhelmed. All you have to do is tell me, and I’ll be here for you. Always.” He finishes, and Dean sniffles, wiping a hand across his wet face. Cas gets him. He doesn’t understand completely, but he gets him. He’s there for Dean, and to him, Cas is still an angel for that.

“Thanks,” Dean says, “I love you.” It’s not the first time he’s said it, but every time it feels like it is. It’s the same flutter in his chest, the same twinkle in Cas’ eyes as he says it back, and it feels fucking fantastic in all honesty.

Dean ends up actually enjoying the rest of the night right up until presents come up. This was just his and Sammy’s thing before, and it feels wrong to have all these people here-- even if they’re people he loves. Sam seems to have the same feeling, because he’s at his side right when the first bag is passed to someone. “It’s weird, right? Like, good weird?”

Dean snorts, giving him an amused look but nodding nonetheless. “Yeah, it is.”

He watches Jack and Claire chat in the corner of the room-- the two have become close ever since the birth of Bobby, and Dean is happy Jack has someone they can rely on. A real friend. They deserved that, especially after all the work they’ve done these past couple of years. He sees the kid laugh and chant ‘kiss, kiss, kiss’ as Kaia and Claire get caught under the mistletoe. And it feels nice.

“You know, I wish we had this growing up.” Dean says, looking around at the happy faces of his family. There’s a pain in his chest, and it doubles as he looks back at his baby brother. “ I wish you had this.” Sam gives him a soft look, then pulls him into a tight hug.

“You made my Christmases a hell of a lot better, you know?” He says. “You didn’t have to, but you did it in anyways. You did all you could, Dean.” Sam pulls away and gives him a stern look. “Okay? I don’t want you beating yourself up today. Look at where we are now, look how far we’ve come… I’ve got a son, a wife. It’s more than I ever expected to get in this life, and you’re part of the reason for that.”

Dean nods, clenching his jaw as he tries to reign in his emotions. There’s no need to cry twice at a party. “Thanks, Sammy. I’m proud of you-- of _us.”_

Cas comes up to him, then, turning towards Sam. “Do you mind if I steal him away for a second?” Sam gives him a knowing look that makes Dean slightly suspicious-- even more so when Cas pulls him into the middle of the room and not behind a closed door to make out (like he had expected-- could you blame him?).

Everyone stops what they’re doing to stare at them, and Dean’s anxiety is rising with every second passing by. But that’s when it happens. Cas is getting down on one knee and Dean feels like he’s going to pass the fuck out right then and there because there is no way this is happening.

“Dean Winchester…” Cas begins, opening a small, black velvet box. There’s a shiny ring inside, two silver lines weaving around each other to make a circle. It’s beautiful. “You have done more for me than you can even imagine-- more than I thought was possible from humanity. But will you do me one more thing, and say ‘yes’”?

“You know you don’t even have to ask, right?” Dean chokes out, and Cas gives him a smile. “I know.”

Dean pulls Cas to his feet, then cups the man’s face and presses their lips together in a gentle kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you, dumbass.” He says affectionately, then kisses him again as the people in the back-- his real, found family-- cheer and whoop for the two of them. And this-- _this_ is a great memory to replace the bad.

* * *

They get married in April, with Spring just beginning to set in. It’s still a bit chilly out, but that’s okay because there is no way Dean’s wearing a tux in hot weather (and Cas agrees).

They’d found a venue in the same town that Dean was first saved by Cas. Where his handprint seared into his skin-- the first touch of the man he had ever experienced. It was the perfect place, right by a lake near the cemetery he had crawled out of.

Everyone they know and love are there, and that thought should’ve made Dean excited but instead he was just nervous-- because he’s there, standing in front of the full-length mirror in one of the changing rooms and asking himself: do I deserve to marry the man I’m going to meet at the alter? The truth is, he doesn’t know, and he’s afraid everyone else knows it too.

“Hey, are you almost ready?” Sammy asks outside of the door, and when Dean doesn’t answer, opens it up. Upon seeing Dean’s thinly veiled anxiety, Sam pulls him into a hug. “Dude, it’s gonna be okay. I promise.” Realistically, Dean knows it is. But the voice in the back of his head isn’t helping. It mocks him, and makes him question everything he knows to be true.

He takes a deep breath and pulls away from the hug. “What if I forget my lines?”

“We went over them like eighty times last night, I’d be surprised if you forgot.”

“What if-”

“No ‘what-ifs,’ okay? You just gotta do it. You’ll thank me later.”

Dean does-- forget his lines, that is. He’s standing there as Cas walks up, and he can barely breathe-- let alone speak. Jody has to whisper some of the lines to him (she’s their officiant) and Dean repeats them in a mumble. Despite his earlier anxieties, he finds he could care less about what the people in the crowd think of him. All he cares about is right in front of him in the form of flushed, tan skin, and glowing blue eyes.

“Dean Winchester, do you take this lawfully wedded man to be your husband?” Jody says, and Dean nods before he remembers that he actually has to say the words out loud. “I do.” He says.

“And do you, Castiel, take this lawfully wedded man to be your husband?” Cas barely has the chance to say ‘I do’ because Dean is diving in for a kiss-- too eager to wait any longer. He can taste salty tears mixed in, and he isn’t sure if they’re from him or Cas. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is that he’s kissing his _husband._ It’s a sloppy kiss, but it’s his favorite by far.

They walk down the aisle hand in hand, stepping over the leftover flower petals that Bobby had thrown out (he was their flower boy, because screw gender roles). They get into Baby together-- and yes, Dean went all out, writing the silly ‘just married’ on the back with the cans tied to the rear as they ride off together, because no matter how many times he’s said “no chick flick moments” that has always been a total lie. He fucking loves them.

The reception turns out to be even more emotional than the actual wedding when Sam gives his best man speech.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” He starts out. “As you all know, I’m Sam, aka Dean’s little brother-- even though we all know I’m the more mature one.” Dean rolls his eyes as the crowd laughs, and Sam gives him a cheeky smile.

“But what Dean lacks in maturity, he makes up for in a lot of other things. One of those things being his ability to love, and care. My brother raised me himself since I was a baby. He wasn’t just my brother, back then. He was also a parent. He never deserved that-- neither of us did, but it happened anyway, and I’m grateful that Dean did it so well, even though he was just a kid himself. He taught me how to look out for myself, how to stand up to bullies and how to ask out girls-- everything I know how to do today, all the _good_ parts of myself, I give credit to Dean for.”

“He’s saved me more times than I can count, and I know he’d do it again without hesitation. And I’d do the same. But that’s not what our jobs are anymore. I’ve got Eileen, and now he’s got Cas. I trust Cas to look out for my brother. I know he will. But Dean, no matter what, you’re always going to be my big brother. And I’m always gonna love you, man.”

Dean is sobbing like a baby, half-drunk already and severely emotional. He’s leaning his head on Cas’ shoulder and wiping his tears and snot on the other man’s suit jacket (Cas doesn’t seem to mind, at least). After all is said and done, Dean drags Cas out onto the dance floor. He picks ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ for their first song, and he tries not to cry again as they dance together.

His hands are at Cas’ waist, with Cas’ around his neck. They sway back and forth in circles, Dean occasionally giving the other man a spin. There’s a spotlight on them, making the crowd seem to disappear. It’s like it’s just the two of them, together.

_Shall I stay, would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you_

Dean is looking into Cas’ eyes, and it’s like he can see the whole future and past inside them. All the memories they’ve shared together. He sees the day Cas dies-- the one he’s already been through, and the one he knows lies ahead. He sees their children, their future dog after Miracle passes, and all the little moments in between. The baseball games, the anniversaries, the sleepy mornings… He sees them growing old together. Dying together. He sees it all in Cas’ eyes, and in the back of his mind he thanks Jack.

He thanks them for bringing back the love of his life all those years ago. He thanks himself and his family-- Cas, too-- for defeating Chuck. For gaining their own free will, because this…. All of this, they did it themselves. He married Cas, and he didn’t do it because it was already written into existence-- he did it because he’s in love. Because he gets to do that, now. Has been able to do it for a while without fear.

'Happily ever after' isn't something just at the end of a storybook. It’s something you make yourself. And this… This is Dean’s forever. Cas is his forever.

“I love you.” He whispers as the music plays in the background. He rests his forehead against Cas’ as they sway together.

“I love you, too.” Cas says, and Dean doesn’t have to worry about it anymore. These aren’t the words of a dying angel anymore, they’re the words of a man with his whole life in front of him-- _their_ life. Together. And it’s fucking perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope it soothed your post-finale stress and angst. Leave your thoughts, opinions, and critiques below!
> 
> Send me prompts via my Twitter (wlwdeancas).


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